Joke: Driving men & women crazy

The Best Ways to Drive a Man Crazy

- Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house.
- Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place.
- Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of
HoHos.
- Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains,
innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.
- Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if
there is any history of male pattern baldness on his
mother's side.
- "Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with
diesel.
- Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend
who "needs it more than he does."
- Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."
- If you live together, have your mother fly in for a
month-long visit unannounced.
- Give the secret stash of dirty magazines that he thinks
you don't know about to his younger brother.


The Best Ways to Drive a Woman Crazy (and Help Relieve
Boredom for Men)

- Call her by the dog's name and then deny it.
- Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one
on a totally different subject.
- Superglue the commode seat in the up position.
- Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she
thinks that she's gaining weight, give her a condescending
smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her
bones.
- Call her by your mother's name and then deny it.
- Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day.
- Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.
- Never give her a straight answer.
- Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with
caution - PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)